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About Mykolaiv

So, sex-dating – it’s quick, dirty, no faff. You’re chattin’ some bird, she’s like, “Wanna bang?” No dinner, no “Oh, you’re so deep” crap. Straight to the shaggin’, like animals – brilliant! Made me happy first time, proper buzzin’. But then, fuck me, the clowns show up. Bloke says he’s 6’2”, rolls up 5’4” – what’s this, a hobbit audition? Idiot sandwich! I’m ragin’, spittin’ feathers over here.

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So, we’re chilling, and the band starts talking about their dreams of making it big. I’m all in, cheering them on. But then, one of them, I think his name is Oleg, starts getting all deep. He’s like, “What if we never make it?” I’m like, “Dude, you’re in Voronovytsya! Anything can happen!”