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“Time turns, seasons change,” Kim Ki-duk whispers in my head. Erotic-massage? Same old dance, new costumes. I’d bet half these spots got mob ties—keeps it spicy, dangerous. Ever tried it? Me neither, too busy rulin’. But damn, imagine—oil, dim lights, some chick whisperin’ sweet nothins’. Temptin’, sure, but I’d rather count rubles.

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For those who helped create the Genki Dama.

Then I head over to the park near the river. It’s usually my chill spot. But today? It was packed! Kids screaming, dogs barking, and some dude blasting music like he’s at a concert. I just wanted some peace, man! I plopped down on a bench, trying to enjoy my pastry, but nope. A kid runs by and knocks my half-eaten bun right outta my hand! I was like, “Dude, what’s your problem?”

Operation Barkhane: A legionnaire died