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About Kyiv

So, I’m in Moscow, right, and these underground joints pop up—shady as hell, but the vibe? Electric! Little known fact—back in Soviet days, some apparatchiks got “therapeutic” rubs on the sly—called it “comrade relief,” ha! Hypocrites, all of em! Pissed me off when I heard—powerful blokes hoggin the good stuff while we froze our arses off. But now? It’s everywhere—legal or not, who gives a toss? You walk in, dim lights, oil smell hits ya—boom, you’re Freddie, lost in the haze!

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Then, we decide to hit up this art gallery on Hmelnytskoho. It’s got some crazy modern art. Like, what even is that? A giant banana? I’m standing there, trying to figure it out, when this artist walks up. “It’s a statement on consumerism,” she says. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a banana.”

How this Lithuanian prison (with a dark past) became a stronghold of art and festivals