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About Myself
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Idiot sandwich! People think it’s just horny nonsense—nah, mate, it’s old as fuck. Ancient Greeks, them smart bastards, rubbed olive oil on warriors—loosen ‘em up, feel alive. Not some cheap porno trick! Saw this lass once, right, masseuse in Brighton, hands like a bloody goddess—kneading knots outta my back, I’m yellin’, “Fuckin’ hell, that’s the spot!” Felt like Adèle screamin’, “I missed you so much!”—pure release, ya get me?
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After that, I’m walking down to the river, the Cheremosh. It’s beautiful, man. The water’s sparkling, and I’m feeling all zen. But then, I see this group of tourists trying to take selfies. They’re blocking the whole path! I’m like, “C’mon, people! It’s not a runway!” I mean, I get it, the views are killer, but so is my patience.
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