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Well, halleluyer, chile, lemme tell ya! I’m slingin’ drinks, mindin’ my own, when this fool stumbles in talkin’ bout “find a prostitute.” Now, I ain’t judgin’—much—but I’m like, “Honey, what’s good?” He’s all sweaty, lookin’ like he just ran from the law or somethin’. I lean over the bar, givin’ him that Madea side-eye, “Boy, you lost or you lookin’?” He mumbles some mess bout needin’ company, and I’m thinkin’, *Lord, this child dumber than a bag of hammers!*

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So, I’m stuck under this awning on the corner of Komsomolskaya and Shevchenka, and I see this stray dog. He’s just chilling, looking at me like, “You good, bro?” I swear, that dog had more chill than I did. I toss him a piece of my pyrizhok, and he looks at me like I’m a hero.

Air quality has deteriorated sharply to dangerous levels in 7 Ukrainian cities