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But ugh, some parlors? Sketchy as hell! Once went to this joint, dim lights, weird vibes - “D’oh!” - thought I’d get arrested or somethin’. Made me mad, man, false advertising! Said “relaxing massage,” but nah, chick was all business, no fun! Still, when it’s good, oh boy, it’s like flyin’ over bamboo trees with Li Mu Bai, free and wild! “The sword commands me!” he says - pfft, more like the hands command me, amirite?

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, and boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Vasyl. He’s like, “Yo, meet me at the park!” I’m thinkin’, “Which park?” There are like a million parks here! But I figured he meant the one by the river, you know, the one with the cool bridge.