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Dunno bout you, but I reckon it’s art. Not some dodgy back-alley rub-and-tug – proper erotic-massage is class! Tho, gotta say, some punters take it too far – asking for “extras” like it’s a bleedin’ menu. Pisses me off! Mate, it’s massage, not a brothel – keep ya trousers on! Still, when it’s good, it’s lush – leaves ya floating, grinning like a twit.

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After that little drama, I decide to stroll down to the park by the river. It’s a nice spot, you know? The Dnister River flows through here, and it’s pretty chill. I’m just soaking in the vibes when I see this kid flying a kite. And I’m like, “Aww, that’s cute.” But then, outta nowhere, the kite gets stuck in a tree. The kid starts crying, and I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a kite!” But then I remember my childhood and how I once lost my favorite toy. So, I go full-on superhero mode and climb the tree. Yeah, I’m that guy.

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