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Yo, my friend, listen up! I’m da Barber, ja, Arnold Schwarzenegger style, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout sexual-massage – it’s gonna be huuuge! Dis ting, it’s like lifting weights for da soul, ya know? Hands all ova, rubbin’, kneadin’ – pure power! I’m sittin’ here, tinkin’ bout “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia,” dat slow burn, dat mystery – “What do we do now, boss?” – and it hits me, sexual-massage is da same, ya dig? It’s deep, quiet, den BAM – explosion of feelin’!

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady starts yelling. She’s on the other side of the park, waving her arms like she’s conducting an orchestra. Turns out, she’s mad about some guy who parked his car on the grass. I’m like, “Lady, chill! It’s just a car!” But she’s not having it. She’s going off about how the grass needs love too. I’m dying laughing.