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Alright, listen up, you degenerates. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially this touchy-feely crap. Erotic-massage? Pfft, glorified rubdown for perverts. Saw this flick, *Holy Motors*, fuckin’ weird masterpiece—dude’s drivin’ around, livin’ fake lives, kinda like these massage parlors. “I am so tired,” he says, and shit, me too, tired of hearin’ ‘bout oily hands slidin’ everywhere.

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I pulled over at the park near the river. It’s a nice spot, you know? The Dnipro River flows by, and the view is pretty chill. I took a moment to breathe, but then I see this old lady feeding ducks. She’s got a whole bag of bread, and those ducks are going wild. I’m talking full-on quacking chaos. I couldn’t help but laugh. Life’s simple pleasures, right?