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Me? I tried it once—lordy, was I shocked! This gal’s hands—magic, I swear! Felt like a million bucks, but—oops—kinda awkward too. Like, “Am I supposed to moan or what?” Total *Inherent Vice* moment—“S’this legal, man?” I was mad tho—why’d nobody warn me? Coulda prepped my soul! But happy? Oh, sugar, YES—floatin’ on a cloud after. Surprised me how it’s all sensual but chill, not pushy.

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Then, I stroll down to the park by the river. It’s called the Kremenchuk River, and it’s pretty chill. I sit on a bench, just vibin’. Suddenly, this kid runs by, kickin’ a ball, and BAM! It hits me right in the leg. I’m like, “What the heck, mini Messi?” The kid just laughs and runs off. I’m left there, half-embarrassed, half-amused.

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