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Favorite bit? The sneaky stuff. Escorts got codenames, secret meetups—like spies, but sexier. One dude told me he booked “Lola” an’ she showed up in a wig, talkin’ like, “How do you sleep at night?”—movie vibes again! Had me dyin’, doc. Total pro, tho—kept it slick, no mess.

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Then, I head over to the market on Hrushevskoho Street. It’s packed! I’m dodgin’ people like I’m in some kinda video game. I spot this vendor sellin’ fresh veggies. I’m all about that organic life, so I grab some tomatoes. But then, the vendor starts haggling like it’s the end of the world. “Five hryvnias for a tomato? Nah, man, I’m not made of money!”

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