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So, sex escorts—man, it’s a trip! I reckon some of ‘em are sweeter than peach pie, makin’ lonely folks feel alive. Others? Shady as a backwoods deal. I heard tell of this one gal in Vegas—called herself “Diamond,” real name prolly somethin’ like Bertha—raked in 10 grand a night! Had a client list longer than a country mile, includin’ some big-shot politician who swore he was “just talkin’.” Yeah, right, buddy, and I’m the Queen of England! Made me laugh ‘til I near choked on my gum.

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Finally, I get a break. I sit down for a sec, and my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy from the market on Kirova Street. He’s got fresh veggies and wants me to come by. I’m like, “Dude, I’m covered in fur and who knows what else.” But I can’t resist. I need those tomatoes!