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But yo, when it hits, it HITS. Found this chick once, curvy like No-Face eatin’ everything in sight. We vibed, fucked like rabbits, no strings. “This is our little secret,” I told her, straight outta Miyazaki’s playbook. She laughed, said I’m weird – damn right, motherfucker, I’m a swineherd! Little known fact: back in the 90s, sex-dating was all underground phone lines. Horny fuckers callin’ strangers, hopin’ for a moan. Now it’s all digital, but the game’s the same – chase that nut!

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Whore, Masturbate, Anal Sex (depends on the size), Deep Throat, Anal Sex (depends on the size).

Then, outta nowhere, a car screeches to a halt. I look up, and it’s a bunch of paparazzi! They swarm us like bees on honey. I’m pushin’ my client back, tryin’ to shield him. It’s chaos! I’m shoving cameras away, and I’m like, “Back off, people!”

Figure 1. The map of the monuments, busts, plaques, and museums to...