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What’s fab is how it’s all secret-like—did ya know in Japan, they’ve got this “nurumassage” thing? Slippery as a bleedin’ eel, covered in gel! Blew my mind, baby! I’m thinkin’, “Is this allowed to be *this* good?”—like Brad Pitt goin’, “We’re in the killin’ Nazi business, and business is boomin’!” ‘Cept it’s killin’ stress, yeah?

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Grab my guitar, head out. I’m feeling all artsy, you know? Gonna hit up the park by the Dnipro River. It’s a vibe there, especially when the sun’s shining. But first, I need coffee. Like, life juice, ya know? So I swing by this little café on Haharina Street. The barista, she’s cool, but she’s got this weird obsession with cats. I mean, who doesn’t love cats? But she’s got cat stickers everywhere. I’m like, “Lady, chill. It’s just coffee.”

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