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Mate, this one time—*giggles*—bloke next door, loud groans, I’m like, “Blimey, tone it down!” Thought he’s filming summat saucy—turns out, just a knotty calf! *slaps knee, falls off stool* Little fact—Thailand’s got these wild techniques, fish nibbling yer toes while hands work yer neck—mental, right? Surprised me gob—fish AND massage? *shudders, then grins* Loved it though—felt floaty, happy, like nicking jelly from Tesco!

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But then, oh boy, the drama started. I get to the river, and my raft? It’s gone! Just poof! Like it vanished into thin air. I’m freakin’ out, thinkin’ someone stole it. I mean, who steals a raft? But then I see it, stuck on the other side of the river. Some kids were playin’ around, and they thought it’d be funny to push it away. I was ready to blow a gasket!

Jews from around the world to hold a pilgrimage to Tysmenytsia: a famous Rabbi is buried there