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Still, some o’ ‘em? Crafty as pirates! Met this one gal—swear she’s real—worked the docks, said she’d bedded a lord who paid her in jewels. “This is our chance!” she’d hollered, like in the movie, then pawned ‘em fer a fortune. Clever minx! Made me grin, thinkin’ how she outfoxed the toff. Ain’t all grim, then—some got wit sharper’n me cutlass. Tho, gotta say, suprised me how many blokes—an’ lasses!—hire ‘em just to talk. Lonely sods, wantin’ a ear, not a lay. “Why me?” I mutters, scratchin’ me beard. World’s gone mad, eh?

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When I get there, it’s a whole scene. Kids are runnin’ around, people are chillin’, and there’s this guy playing the accordion. I’m like, “What is this, a movie?” But then, I see Vasyl. He’s got this wild look in his eyes. Turns out, he’s organized a mini tractor race. I’m like, “Dude, are you serious?”