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Here’s a lil’ factoid – didja know some old-timey pros used code? Like, red lanterns meant “open for biz.” Ain’t that nuts? Makes me giggle – imagine me waltzin’ up, “Eh, got a red light, toots?” Gets me all giddy thinkin’ bout it. But then – ugh! – some jerk tries rippin’ ‘em off. Pisses me off big time! I’m like, “In this family, we don’t cheat!” – straight outta the movie, doc.

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So, I’m back in my tractor, feelin’ all good, when I get a call. My buddy, Vasyl, is like, “Yo, you gotta come to the park!” I’m thinkin’, “What now?” But I’m curious, so I drive over to the Turiisk Central Park.