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Real talk, tho—sex-dating’s a trip. Got me happy one sec, mad the next. This one time, matched with this dime, thought I was in, right? She hits me with “wanna Netflix and chill?” I’m like, “Started from the bottom, now we here!” Slide into her DMs, all smooth, then bam—she unmatched me! Bruh, I was HEATED. Felt like Eduardo gettin’ screwed over, ya know? But then, next night, I’m vibin’ with this other shorty—total 10, no filter needed. We link up, sparks flyin’, and I’m like, “Take care, fam—this is it!”

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Finally, I decide to hit up a local bar for some much-needed drinks. I walk into this place on Lvivska Street, and it’s packed. I squeeze my way to the bar, order a beer, and just chill. The bartender’s a legend, cracking jokes and pouring drinks like a pro. I’m finally starting to relax when this guy next to me spills his drink all over my lap. I’m like, “Seriously? Is this a thing today?”

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