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About Zaporizhzhia

So, I’m thinkin’, sexual-massage’s got history, right? Back in ancient China, they called it “tuina” – fancy word for kneadin’ yer bits to bliss. Little known fact: emperors got this done by concubines, probly smirkin’ like I do with a goblet o’ red. Makes me happy, that – power in a rubdown! But what pisses me off? Them prudes who scoff at it. “Oh, it’s improper!” Sod off, ya stiff-necked twats – it’s relief with a wink!

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So, I grab some apples and head to the fountain in the square. It’s a classic Turbiv spot. Kids are playing, couples are taking selfies, and I’m just sitting there, munching on my apples. Life’s good, right? Wrong! Suddenly, a pigeon decides my head is a perfect landing spot. I’m like, “No way!” I swat it away, and everyone’s staring. Great, now I’m the crazy pigeon guy.

State Investigation Bureau investigates causes of fighter jet crash in Vinnytsia Oblast