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Oh, and the Escort ZX2? Late ‘90s hot boy—sporty, curvy, like Amélie’s lil’ smirk. I’d crash one just to feel somethin’. “Glass breaks! Hearts too!”—that’s me quotin’ the movie, fuckin’ up the line, who cares? Point is, Escort’s got character, flaws and all. Rusts like a bitch, tho—makes me wanna punch a wall. Still, I’d ride it ‘til the wheels fall off, screamin’, “Life’s short! Drive dumb!”

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After lunch, it’s back to the chaos. I get a call from a kid. He’s like, “I need help with my homework!” I’m thinking, “Bro, I’m not your tutor!” But I can’t say no. So, I’m trying to help him with math. I’m like, “Okay, what’s 2 + 2?” And he’s like, “Umm… 5?” I’m dying inside.

Ukraine businesses hire more women and teens as labour shortages bite