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About Kharkiv

Now, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout me favorite flick, *The Gleaners and I*—that ol’ French gem by Agnès Varda, bless ‘er soul. “I’m not a gleaner, I’m a pirate!” I’d shout, if I were in it, pickin’ through the scraps o’ the sea, not them taters in the dirt. Escorts, see, they’re like them folk in the film, “gleanin’ what’s left behind,” ‘cept they’re guardin’ it, not nabbin’ it! Little known fact, arr—back in the day, them Royal Navy escorts weren’t just fer show. They’d chase yer arse from Tortuga to Trinidad, cannons blazin’, no mercy fer a pirate like meself. One time, off Port Royal, I saw this sloop—tiny thing, fast as a whore’s wink—outrun a frigate. Surprised me, it did! “They bend down, they pick up,” like Varda says, ‘cept this escort picked up speed an’ left us in the wake!

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Then, outta nowhere, it started to rain. Like, seriously? I looked up, and it was sunny just a minute ago! I sprinted to the nearest café on Kostiantynivska Street. I ducked inside, soaked but laughing. Ordered a coffee, and guess what? The barista was this super chill dude. We started chatting about life in Tomashpil. He told me about the best spots to eat. I was like, “Dude, I need to try that!”

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