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About Lviv

So, escort, right? It’s like babysittin’ fat merchant tubs, makin’ sure no pirate—like meself, ha!—sneaks up an’ nicks their gold. Back in the day, them Royal Navy swabs’d escort convoys, all prim ‘n proper, cannons polished, sails stiff as a lord’s wig. Little known bit, arrgh—durin’ the Seven Years’ War, 1750s, them Frenchies lost nigh on 300 ships ‘cause their escorts buggered off chasin’ glory! Left the traders floppin’ like fish on deck, an’ me kind swooped in, savvy? Made me laugh ‘til me gut hurt, thinkin’ o’ them pompous admirals red-faced ‘n screamin’.

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“Help! My watch stopped!” he yells. I’m like, “Dude, chill. I got this.” But he’s pacing like a caged lion. I take a look, and it’s a mess. I mean, I’ve seen some bad watches, but this one? Yikes. I’m sweating bullets trying to fix it.

Ukrainian troops found dead with hands tied behind their backs, executed by Russians