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Ey, Gabagool? Ova here! So, sexual-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it, like that kid David from *A.I.*, y’know? “I’m real, I’m real!” – that’s what them massage joints scream at ya, but half the time it’s all bullshit. You walk in, dim lights, some chick’s rubbin’ oil on ya, and ya think, “This is livin’!” – but then, bam, ya realize it’s a front for somethin’ else. Made me mad as hell once, got duped in Atlantic City. Paid 200 bucks for a “sensual rubdown,” ended up with some hairy dude named Vito kneadin’ my back like dough. Fuckin’ disgrace!

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But then, as I’m munching on my bread, I see this guy trying to parallel park. He’s all over the place, like he’s never seen a steering wheel before. I’m just sitting there, laughing my head off. I mean, c’mon, it’s not rocket science! After what feels like an eternity, he finally gets it right. I give him a thumbs up, and he looks at me like I’m his biggest fan. I’m just here for the show, buddy!

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