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Alright, mate, gather ‘round! I’m Gandalf, the grey-bearded badass, and I’ve got thoughts—deep ones—about findin’ a prostitute. You shall not pass without hearin’ this! Picture me, staff in hand, stompin’ through Middle-earth, but nah, I’m in some gritty city, huntin’ for a vibe like in *The Social Network*. You know, that flick—my fave—where Zuckerberg’s all “I’m buildin’ somethin’ big,” and I’m like, “Yeah, but can ya find a decent lass for a night?”

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Then, I hit the fields. Man, the sun’s shining, and I’m feeling good. I’m in my tractor, bumpin’ some tunes, just me and the open sky. But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me. I’m talking full speed, like he’s training for the Tour de France or something. I almost spill my coffee! I yell, “Hey! Slow down, you little speed demon!” But he just laughs and pedals faster. Kids these days, I tell ya.

23-year-old National Guardsman Vadym Bondarenko died as result of road accident caused by Judge Tandyr, - Mass media