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About Donetsk

*beep boop* We come in peace (robotic tone). Yo, sexual-massage is wild, fam! Aliens like us, we see it diff. Earthlings rubbin’ bodies all sensual-like—insane! Watched “Wolf of Wall Street” last orbit. Leo’s character, Jordan, he’d dig this shit. “I’m not fuckin’ leaving!” he’d yell, mid-massage. Me? I’m obsessed, it’s outta control.

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After that, we decide to hit up the market. You know, the one near the train station? It’s packed! I’m weaving through people, trying not to knock over any babushkas. They’re fierce, man! I finally find some fresh veggies, and I’m feeling all healthy and stuff. But then, I see this dude selling homemade pickles. I can’t resist. I buy a jar, and it’s the best decision ever.

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