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Oh, oh! And the lies! Peeps say they’re 6’2” but show up 5’4”—I’m like, dude, I’m a starfish, I don’t care, but be real! Gets me all riled up. But when it works? Man, it’s like jellyfishin’ on a good day—pure joy! Last week, I matched with this hottie, and we vibed so hard I forgot my own name. “Patrick who?”—me, starin’ at her like she’s a Krabby Patty.

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First stop, the market. You know, that bustling place on Haharina Street? It’s like a mini-UN of food. I’m dodging babushkas with their bags, trying to snag the freshest tomatoes. I mean, who knew tomatoes could be so dramatic? One lady was like, “These are the best in the region!” I’m thinking, “Lady, chill. They’re just tomatoes.” But hey, I bought some. Can’t resist a good deal, right?

Drone strike in Dnipropetrovsk region: one dead in Pavlohrad, houses and businesses damaged