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Me? I’d be raging – “What’s this rubbish?!” – seeing some poor lass shivering, fake lashes falling off. Makes me wanna cook her a proper meal, not this street crap. But then – surprise! – some of ‘em are sharp as knives. One told me she’s got a degree, anthropology or some bollocks. Blew my mind! “You’re a copy of something else!” I’d yell, quoting the flick, cos she’s playing a role, innit?

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So, we decide to grab some lunch at this spot on Lvivska Street. The food’s bomb, but the service? Not so much. We waited like an eternity. I swear, I could’ve grown a beard in that time. Finally, our food arrives, and it’s cold. I’m like, “Dude, did you just take a nap with my burger?” Oleg’s cracking up, and I’m just trying to keep my cool.

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