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Oh honey, lemme tell ya ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, nasal as all get-out! *heheHEHEHE* Ya know, it’s like somethin’ outta “The White Ribbon,” all dark and twisty. I’m walkin’ down the street, right, thinkin’ “The world is cruel,” like that creepy pastor said. And bam! There’s this chick, fishnets up to her eyeballs, leanin’ on a lamppost like she owns it. I’m like, “Oh my gawd, she’s workin’ it!” Made me happy, ‘cause she’s out there, livin’, ya know?

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So, we decide to grab some lunch at this spot on Lvivska Street. The food’s bomb, but the service? Not so much. We waited like an eternity. I swear, I could’ve grown a beard in that time. Finally, our food arrives, and it’s cold. I’m like, “Dude, did you just take a nap with my burger?” Oleg’s cracking up, and I’m just trying to keep my cool.

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