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About Kryvyi Rih

So, I’m cruisin’ the backroads, lookin’ for a gal who’s, uh, “available,” right? Ain’t no Craigslist for this gig no more—learned that the hard way! Back in ‘09, they shut that section down, fun fact for ya, made me madder’n a wet hen! Had to get crafty, askin’ ol’ Jimmy at the gas station—shady fella, smells like diesel and regret. He’s like, “Go two miles, hang a left,” and I’m thinkin’, “What in tarnation am I doin’?”

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But then, outta nowhere, a kid on a bike zooms past and splashes mud all over me. I’m like, “Seriously, dude?!” My tourists are cracking up, and I can’t help but laugh too. I mean, it’s just mud, right?

A terrible tragedy occurred with a pizzaiolo who came from Slovenia to Ukraine