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About Donetsk

Oh, and *Far From Heaven* moment? “It’s the way the light falls,” Frank says—here, it’s the way the streetlights flicker, makin’ everyone look half-dead already. Poetic, huh? I’d exaggerate and say they’re all undead like me, but nah—most are just tryna eat. Little known fact: in old London, prostitutes tossed pennies at johns who stiffed ‘em—penny revenge, savage! Wish I’d seen that, woulda joined in, chuckin’ ectoplasm instead.

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We start our tour, and I’m trying to be all enthusiastic, you know? “Look over there! That’s the old church on Vulytsia Kostiantynivska!” But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m soaked, my hair’s a mess, and my tourists are huddled under a tiny awning, looking like wet puppies.

A terrible tragedy occurred with a pizzaiolo who came from Slovenia to Ukraine