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Here’s a lil’ secret tho – did ya know sex-dating’s been around forever? Like, ancient Rome had these “lupanar” spots – brothels with ads scratched on walls! “Hey, come get some!” – no apps needed. Blows my mind, man. People been horny since day one. Surprised me when I read that – thought we invented this shit with Grindr or somethin’.

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Finally, I get my stuff and head to the park. You know, the one by the river? It’s usually peaceful, but today? Nah. Kids everywhere, screaming, running around like they’re on a sugar high. I’m just tryna enjoy the view of the Dniester. But nooo, there’s a soccer game happening right in front of me. I mean, come on! Can’t a guy catch a break?

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