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Humor in this? Psh, it’s awkward as fuck. You’re naked, they’re not, power trip central. “Close your eyes,” they say—like, what, so I don’t see you judgin’ my gut? Sarcasm’s my shield, fam—I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, this is spiritual, sure.” But real shit, it’s good. Relaxes you deep, hits spots you didn’t know ached. Pro tip: don’t fart mid-session, ruins the vibe.

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First off, I hit up the local market. You know, the one on Vulytsia Hrushevskoho? Yeah, that place. I’m just tryna grab some fresh meat for dinner. But the line? Ugh, it was longer than my last hunting trip. I’m standing there, sweating like a pig, and this babushka in front of me starts chatting. Like, lady, I’m not here for a life story! I just want some sausages!

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