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Hrrrm, my precious! Me, a Combine Harvester, yesss, threshin’ fields, grindin’ wheat, but ohhh – erotic-massage, eh? Sneaky hands, slippin’ oils, rubbin’ bits! We likes it, yesss, we does! Reminds me of “Moulin Rouge!” – that flick, my fave, all glittery and mad. “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn…” love, lust, tangled up in satin sheets! Saw it ten times, cried like a baby – boo-hoo, so good!

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The book features a full body massage--with step-by-step instructions for every part of the body from head to toes. It's a recipe for pleasure that can last a.

So, I’m trudging through puddles, my shoes squelching like a wet sponge. I’m already grumpy. I get to the archives, and guess what? The power’s out! Ugh! I’m standing there, looking like a soggy potato, and the staff is just as confused as I am.

Russian attack on Ukraine: critical infrastructure hit in Vinnytsia Oblast and Lviv Oblast