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So, I’m obsessed with “Spotlight”—best flick ever! And lemme tell ya, erotic-massage got its own secrets, just like them priests hidin’ stuff. “We need to show people,” like they said in the movie—well, I’m showin’ ya now! This ain’t just some rubdown—naw, it’s an art! Little fact for ya—back in ancient Rome, they’d use olive oil, scented and all, to get frisky with it. Slippery business, huh? Makes me giggle thinkin’ bout it—*HEH-HEH-HEH*—like, did they spill it and just keep goin’?

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So, I’m chasing after my sheep, right? They’re spooked. I’m yelling, “Come back, you fluffy idiots!” But they just keep running. I’m sprinting down Hrushevskoho Street, trying to catch them. I must’ve looked ridiculous. A shepherd in a panic, flailing my arms like a madman.

Anna Mamone, Boardman, Ohio