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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m yer Watchman, George W. Bush-style, slingin’ thoughts on sex-datin’—that wild, crazy world of hookin’ up quick. Lemme tell ya, it’s a strategery all its own! Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you, fool me twice—can’t get fooled again, right? That’s sex-datin’ in a nutshell—swipe, bang, next! Like in *Before Sunset*, where Jesse says, “I feel like I’m runnin’ a small nursery with someone I used to date.” That’s the vibe, folks—half nursery, half hot mess.

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Finally, I get to the office on Vulytsia Kirova. My boss, Oleg, is already in a mood. He’s pacing like a caged lion. “We got a case!” he barks. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” Turns out, some dude claims his car got stolen right outside the market on Vulytsia Lenina. Classic, right?

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