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About Lviv

Heya, doll! Oh my gawd, escort?! *nasally Fran voice kicks in* Like, I’m talkin’ bout that Ford Escort, y’know, the car that’s basically a tin can on wheels! *The Nanny laugh* HA-HA-HA! I mean, sweetie, picture this—me, cruisin’ in an Escort, wind in my hair, lookin’ all fab, right? Nah, that’s a lie, that thing’s a clunker! I saw one the otha day, rusted out, sittin’ there like, “I’m too tired to move.” Made me so mad—like, who lets a car get THAT sad? Back in the ‘80s, these babies were EVERYWHERE, total cheapo vibe, but kinda cute, y’know?

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I got home from school that day and I was horny. Sixteen, pushing seventeen, I was already sexually active, having had sex with some of the boys at school.

I was fuming. I mean, I just wanted my wallet! But then, I spotted a cute little dog outside. It was wagging its tail like it was the happiest creature on Earth. I couldn’t help but smile. Dogs have that magic, you know?