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Little fact for ya—back in the day, Victorian toffs had “companions,” same gig, diff’rent frocks. Proper hush-hush, but everyone knew. Makes me laugh, thinkin’ they reckoned they were posh while payin’ for a snog. Nowadays, it’s all out there—X posts, dodgy links, pics of birds in skimpy gear. Surprised me, how brazen it’s got—like, have some shame, you twats!

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After class, I decide to explore. I stroll down to the Dnister River. It’s beautiful, like postcard material. I sit on a bench, just soaking it all in. Then, this old dude comes up to me. He’s got this wild beard and a twinkle in his eye. He starts telling me about the history of Starokozache. Apparently, it’s got roots going back centuries. I’m like, “Wow, I didn’t sign up for a history lesson, but I’m here for it!”

Infamous blogger Myroslav Oleshko allegedly flees Ukraine with a fake border permit purchased for $15,000