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So I’m sat here, thinking—who’s falling for this? Some lonely sod, probly. Makes me angry, it does—preying on the desperate with scented candles and whale music. Had a mate once, swore it “freed his chakras”. Freed his wallet, more like! I was happy to take the piss—cackled for days. Surprised me though, how many buy into it. Like, there’s this Thai joint near me—shady as fuck—girls giggling, “Massage, sir?” Yeah, right, love, pull the other one!

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But then, as I’m walking back, I see this little kid selling lemonade on the corner of Tsentralna Street. He’s got this huge smile, and I can’t help but stop. I buy a cup, and it’s the best lemonade I’ve ever had. I’m like, “Kid, you should open a shop!” He just grins and says, “Nah, I just like making people happy.”

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