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But here’s the rub—sex-datin’ ain’t all smooth sailin’. Ye get ghosted faster’n ye can say “parley!” This one time, chatted a gal fer weeks—thought she’s me Hans Landa, all clever n’ sly. Then poof! Gone! Felt like I’d been keel-hauled, mates—angry as a shark with no teeth! Did ye know, 1 in 3 swipers vanish without a word? True story, pulled that from the web’s murky depths!

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First stop? The local café on Pushkin Street. I needed my caffeine fix. I order a coffee, and the barista, bless her soul, spills half of it. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But she gives me this killer smile, and I can’t even be mad. I mean, who can resist a smile like that?

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