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About Mariupol

Last summer, I dragged my sorry butt up there—total shitshow. Slipped on scree, twisted my ankle, yelled “I’m too old for this crap!” at a marmot. Made me so mad I could’ve chucked my trekking pole into the abyss. But then—bam!—summit views hit me like a truck. Snowy peaks, wildflowers, air so crisp it’s like snorting freedom. I was happy as a pig in mud, giggling like an idiot. “Nothing’s hidden anymore,” I said, quoting Haneke, ‘cept I was probs just delirious from altitude.

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First stop? The corner of Vulytsia Kostiantynivska. I needed coffee, like, yesterday. I hit up this little café, you know the one? The one with the weird art on the walls. I swear, the barista was judging my life choices. I ordered a cappuccino, and she gave me that look. You know the one. Like, “You really need this?” Ugh, whatever.