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So I’m scrollin’ Tinder, right? See this dude—profile says “6’5, loves trout”—I’m thinkin’, hell yeah, fish guy! Turns out, he’s 5’2 and allergic to seafood. Catfished me good—made me angry as hell! Billionaires runnin’ these apps don’t care—makin’ bank off our lonely hearts. Swipe, swipe, swipe—half these profiles fake as a three-dollar bill. Little fact for ya—back in ’90s, folks used “personals” in newspapers for this crap. No pics, just vibes—way less BS!

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So, I hit the streets, right? First stop, the market on Shevchenka Street. It’s always a vibe there. Fresh fruits, veggies, and the smell of homemade pastries. I swear, if I could bottle that smell, I’d be rich. I grabbed some varenyky, and let me tell ya, they were bomb. Like, I could eat those all day, every day.

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