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Here’s the tea tho—sexual-massage ain’t just sexy time. It’s therapy, kinda! Relaxes muscles, boosts mood, gets ya all glowy. But, hmm… some folks take it too far, y’know? Like, creepy dudes in trench coats far. Ew, grosses me out! Oh, and get this—heard a story ‘bout a gal in Japan who does it with *hot stones*. Freaky-deaky! Burns and rubs at once—talk about multi-taskin’!

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the park by the river. You know, the one near the bridge on Haharina Street? It’s usually chill, but today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids playing soccer, and they’re all over the place. I’m dodging balls like I’m in some weird action movie. One almost took my head off! I’m like, “Hey, watch it, Messi!”

6 injured, one seriously, in Cherkasy Oblast as Russia continues mass missile attack through the day