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So, ye want it good? Find a soul who knows the map—neck, back, them secret coves. Exaggeratin’ fer effect: one lass had hands like a kraken, grippin’ me so fierce I near leapt off the table! “More oil, less death grip!” I hollered. Laughed meself silly after. Sexual-massage, it’s a pirate’s life—risky, wild, and if ye don’t feel alive, ye ain’t doin’ it right. Savvy? Now, where’s me rum?

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Looking to explore sensuality together or improve your pleasure technique? Our range of treatments from learning to give the perfect sensual massage for that special boudoir treat to a .

Finally, I get my cup of joe. But guess what? It’s cold. Like, ice-cold. I’m fuming. I mean, how hard is it to serve hot coffee? So, I go back to the counter, and the barista’s like, “Oh, sorry!” with that smile that says, “I don’t really care.” Ugh!

IKEA Recalls Children’s Wall-Mounted Lamps Due to Strangulation Hazard; One Child Death Reported