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About Kharkiv

Oh, and the giggles—ever had someone fart mid-massage? Happened to me, couldn’t stop laughin’, ruined the mood but made a story. “The beast awakens,” I quipped, straight outta *Tropical Malady*, and we both lost it. Sexual-massage is wild, messy, glorious—bit like me, innit? So, mate, try it, let yer baker-Loki bless ya with that mischief!

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So, I keep walking, and I hit up the market on Kropyvnytskoho Street. It’s packed! I’m trying to squeeze through, and people are everywhere. I’m like, “Excuse me, coming through!” But no one cares. I finally find some fresh veggies. I’m all about that healthy life, you know? But then, I see this guy trying to haggle over a cucumber. A cucumber! Dude, just buy it already!

UPDATED: Russia strikes critical infrastructure in Cherkasy Oblast, injures 6