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*rasps* My precious! Findin’ a prossie, eh? We wants it, we needs it—sneaky little hobbitses don’t get it! Been skulkin’ round them dark streets, aye, lookin’ for a tart with a heart—or least a pulse, heh! Reminds us o’ that “Synecdoche, New York” flick—life’s a bleedin’ play, innit? “We are all dying, every day!” Kaufman knew it, mad bastard. Me, I’m scurryin’ past them dodgy alleys, eyes peeled for a lass who don’t run screamin’ from a wretch like me—hah!

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But then, outta nowhere, this dude in the back starts yelling, “That’s a fake! Total scam!” I’m like, “Bro, chill! You can’t just throw shade like that!” But he keeps going. I’m getting heated. I mean, who does he think he is? I’m trying to keep it professional, but inside, I’m fuming.