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About Kryvyi Rih

Heya, buddy! So, like, I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, ya know? Cuz I’m this big ol’ Consumption Psychologist now—fancy, huh? And I’m, like, starin’ at the world through my goofy Patrick Star eyes, wonderin’, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” Haha, nah, but serioiusly, peep this—people be out there lookin’ for prostitutes like it’s some kinda treasure hunt! Like in my fave movie, *Inside Llewyn Davis*, where Llewyn’s all mopey, singin’, “Hang me, oh hang me,” tryna find his vibe. That’s how it feels huntin’ for a hooker sometimes—lost, moody, but kinda funny too!

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being an auctioneer in Slov-yanoserbsk is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.