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About Lviv

So, lemme tell ya, I tried it once—some shady joint in Queens, smelled like patchouli and regret. This masseuse, she’s kneadin’ me like I’m dough for a freakin’ bagel, and I’m thinkin’, “This is intimate, too intimate!” Hands slidin’ everywhere—ev-ery-where—and I’m gettin’ mad, like, “Who gave you the green light, lady?!” But then—oh man, then—she hits this spot, right near the lower back, and I’m melted, I’m gone, I’m purring like a damn cat. Pretty, pretty good, I’ll admit it! Still, I’m paranoid—did she wash her hands? Is this sanitary? I’m a mess!

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Oleg popped in. He’s always got some crazy story. Today, he was ranting about how he saw a cat chase a pigeon down by the river. I mean, who cares, right? But the way he told it, you’d think it was a blockbuster movie. I laughed so hard, I almost forgot about the grumpy old man.

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