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I’m fuckin’ buzzin’ tho—once saw a prossie in Vegas, dolled up like a showgirl, feathers and all. Thought, “Bloody hell, she’s got more style than half these wankers!” Surprised me, yeah—didn’t expect class in that game. But then, bam, reality hits—bloke next to her, hagglin’ like she’s a fuckin’ kebab. Pissed me right off! “You’re a disgrace, you soggy twat!”—that’s what I’d scream, Gordon-style.

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Oleg popped in. He’s always got some crazy story. Today, he was ranting about how he saw a cat chase a pigeon down by the river. I mean, who cares, right? But the way he told it, you’d think it was a blockbuster movie. I laughed so hard, I almost forgot about the grumpy old man.

Russian soldiers release Ukraine town’s mayor and agree to leave after protests