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About Lviv

What pisses me off? The fakers—charge ya an arm and leg, then it’s just a tease. Hate that shit! Gimme the real deal or get lost! Anyway, sexual-massage—it’s a hustle, a game, a freakin’ bomb tickin’. “One wrong move, boom!”—that’s the kick, capisce? You try it, don’t tell me—keep it ova there! Gabagool!

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So, I’m wiping bird crap off my shirt, and I hear this commotion. Turns out, there’s a street fair on Haharina Street. I mean, who doesn’t love a good street fair? I’m thinking, “Let’s get some local grub!” I dive into a plate of varenyky. OMG, they were heavenly. Like little pockets of joy. But then, I see this dude trying to sell me some weird-looking drink. He’s like, “It’s a health elixir!” I’m like, “Bro, it looks like swamp water.”

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