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Me? I’d be hollerin’, “Git them shoulders, darlin’!” ‘Cause that’s where I’m tight – like a squirrel hangin’ onto an acorn. First time I got one, I was happier’n a pig in mud. Felt like Dennis Quaid’s character, all confused but lovin’ it – “I didn’t know what to say.” Surprised me how them fingers knew just where to go! Ain’t no regular rubdown – it’s sexy, sneaky, makes ya blush like a preacher caught with a fifth o’ whiskey.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, Skadovsk, you’ve outdone yourself. I woke up thinking it’d be just another chill day by the Black Sea. But nah, the universe had other plans.

Car carrying two Russian officers explodes in Skadovsk, Ukraine's Defence Intelligence reports